What's in a Name?

Good morning Albert. Another successful night negotiated with only a slight amount of collateral damage. Note to wife, avoid drinking lemonade an hour before bed in future! I thought I would share with you how you came to be called Albert and just hope you can forgive me should you actually turn out to be the female of the species. Well, it worked for Johnny Cash (ask somebody older what that means). Here's the story:

So there we were in the Barcelona clinic waiting for the embryos to be implanted. We had a picture of you and your brother/sister and decided to follow the tradition of giving you a name. As we were in Barcelona and everybody was talking about the football team we decided to name you after two of the players. Messi was obvious because he is currently a god amongst footballers but the second name was a bit more tricky. Mischievoisly I suggested Puyol because it sounds a bit rude to me and the name kind of stuck. Fast forward four weeks and we're having a scan looking at a screen which is showing the baby channel and we're looking at YOU. It's a wonderful feeling but tinged with a bit of sadness because your fellow team member didn't make it so far. We then had to come up with a first name for you because we felt that bump or lump didn't really do you justice. The obvious next step was to choose between the two players' names. Now at this point you should be on your knees thanking me that you are not getting bullied at school as the only Lionel in town. Granted, there are probably not many Alberts either but surely you can see you drew the long straw? And here's where it gets a bit messi (sic) because your dad should have done his homework a bit better and actually checked the first names of the players. I got my Puyols mixed up with my Pujols and you ended up with the first name of a baseball player rather than a footballer. Still, would you have been any happier being called Carles? I think not!!

So that's it in a nutshell. Had Manchester United or Chelsea been more successful this year you might have been called Wayne or even Didier so maybe Albert isn't so bad after all.