This is my first ever attempt at a blog and I hope I quickly get to understand this process. It seems to take forever to actually find the piece that I am working on and I'm so scared I'm going to lose it in the ether but I'm soldiering on.
We are the proud carriers of a nine week old foetus. I say "we" even though my only real contribution to the carriage has been providing sperm and plumping up the occasional cushion. I'm sure I do more but just don't ask me to list it. I still can't get excited about the F word. Having an embryo sounded so much nicer. He's called Albert at the moment and it seems to suit him even though we have no idea what the sex is. He follows in a line of named embryos who were sadly lost along the way and we proudly salute you Patch, Sam, Amanda and the one whose name escapes me. You were all loved and very much wanted , yet fell at the first hurdle. A cruel victim of Anno Domini.
We have long debated the irony of women spending their most fertile years trying desperately hard not to get pregnant then when Mr Right rears his ugly head the gates are firmly locked shut. I guess that we've been lucky to be able to pay for treatment but it has been a struggle ; physically, mentally and financially to keep pursuing our dream to be parents. A four year loan will be a reminder of this struggle but we will hand over every penny with a smile on our faces if we are successful. Incidentally, thanks to the Conservatives who announced the scrapping of the Child Savings scheme this week. That £250 would have been a nice start for Albert. I can't wait for news of child benefit and child tax credit cuts to be announced. Great timing!!
I thought this baby cooking lark was supposed to get easier. Not much evidence so far. Lady W is still feeling rubbish and has added actual puking to her repertoire of nightly coughs and splutters. Going to bed has never been so fraught with danger!! I am sympathetic up to a point but feeling sick is a great indicator that all is well so each moan and groan is greeting with an outward show of concern but a secret inner punching of the air. Things should ease off soon but Albert is certainly making his prescence felt.
I want to try to use this blog as a way of expressing how I'm feeling right now as we limp our way through this baby-making process. Foolishly I think we felt we had got over the highest obstacle in getting pregnant in the first place. However, a couple of scares have put paid to that notion and we take each day as it comes. We recognise how lucky we are to have even got this far but wish Mothercare would sell crystal balls that told you everything would be fine in the end so we could stop fretting.
We have been looking at online pictures of what Albert looks like at nine weeks. This gets a bit confusing because Lady W has seen the same picture used to describe three different stages of pregnancy. The word on the street is that Albert is roughly the size of a prune though minus the wrinkles. He seems to be quite content where he is and shows no inclination to budge which is reassuring.
We debated long and hard about the right time to tell people of our news and have ended up telling people in dribs and drabs. I would have liked to make a big announcement to friends and family in the modern way by posting on Facebook but this seemed a little impersonal. So many people have shared our struggle to have a baby and we have had a lot of love and support that it was inevitable that some people would find out sooner than others. We would have waited until the 12 week scan but that seemed such a long way away when we first got a positive result and each minor scare made us feel very vulnerable. Luckily, wise friends and relatives passed on their experiences and we are learning not to worry as much. I think we may go public soon and tell everyone. Can't wait to see people's faces.
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