And so it came to pass in the lowly city of Sheffield that our Lord and saviour was born. Well not quite but at times it has felt like this for us. The past nine months seem to have passed so incredibly slowly like filling up a bath with dripping water. From euphoria at seeing the blue line to almost complete despair when told by a very unsympathetic doctor that some early spotting could very well signal the end of the pregnancy we have experienced almost every single emotion until finally on 4th January 2011 our beautiful son was born.
I won't go into all the gory details and I guess in the grand scheme of things it was not the longest or most traumatic of labours but it was an incredibly intense time and I know for one of us it hurt like hell (clue, it wasn't me even though I had to skip a couple of meals) but as the scars heal and the edge of the memories start to gain that rose tinted glow I know that we can say that this is our greatest achievement together. Every time I look over at Albert I see a beautiful, vulnerable tiny soul with his hands outstretched to catch all the love that's flowing his way. We are so grateful for the way that our friends have supported us and helped to carry us along this very long, winding path. Their words of wisdom and faith in the karmic forces have given us the strength to keep going when a month in bed with the covers pulled over would have been a preferable option. From the bottom of our hearts I say a huge THANK YOU to all of you.
Now I feel like the recipient of an award giving a speech and I don't want to come across as being too cheesy but I would like to say a couple of thank you's and a huge apology just in case it's ever needed. Thanks to all our family for being on our side and supporting us in the way that true family do. They don't always say and do the right things but when the chips are down, by golly they swing into action!! Thanks to all the people who (possibly clouded by euphoria and alcohol) offered to babysit. We wrote every name down and will be taking you up on your kind offers in due course. Thanks for all the presents and cards. They mean so much and we (of the Royal variety) will be thanking people individually in due course. We also need to get round to organising the placenta party but can't decide whether to have a ceremonial burial or serve as canapes. All suggestions gratefully received.
Finally, the apology goes to Albert just in case his life turns out to be completely miserable due to being saddled with a crap name. Personally I think it suits him and I don't think he'll be alone when he gets to school age. Who knew when we were kids that George, Harry, Archie and Alfie would be popular? At least we didn't give him a surname (Mason, Harrison, Bailey et al).
Things are slowly starting to gain some order at home although I spend most of my nights in the spare room as Albert seems to prefer the bed to his Moses basket. I swear that as I trudge downstairs from the master bedroom I can see a hint of a smirk on his face as he gets his mummy all to himself yet again. Just bear in mind son that you may have won the battle for now but we shall win the war!
I am looking forward to being able to feed him once the milking machine is up and running and I am soon about to commit the ultimate act of cruelty as my father did to me many moons ago. No, gentle reader he will not be circumcised, it will be more painful and lingering than that. I am about to buy him a Sheffield Wednesday season ticket. Quick, call Esther Rantzen!! I may allow him a plan B team so he can know some happiness throughout his life but he shall suffer stoically as generations before him have done. It is my legacy to you Albert. Don't hate me.
